Thursday, Apr. 17, 2003

joseph cried in vain please stop i don't believe in free love

sometimes i wish i had the nerve to yell at people i don't know when they're being assholes. like, i wish i could say to certain people, "what the FUCK made you think it was a good idea to stand in the middle of the stairwell to hold a conversation! get the fuck out of my way!"

there is this cute little bulletein board the RA set up for people on this floor to write quotes they think are insightful. one dumb chick wrote "coffee, chocolate, men -- some things are just better rich!" i saw this and just wanted to vomit, and told my friend and she agreed, so she took a marker and wrote under it "love people for what they are." and then a few days later the girl wrote "who said anything about love?" PLEASE. there are already enough stereotypes about this all-girls floor, like the "virgin vault" or what not, why would you want to go give those people more incentive to believe that all women are just like those on "joe millionaire?" what the fuck, i hate people.

(haha, adrienne remember that time when we were walking down duke of gloucester street, and i said "i hate people" a little too loud, and these two people heard me and said something like, "well THAT'S a pessimistic thought?" yeah.)

the problem with having an international roommate is that you never know what she's talking about unless she speaks english. today, rei and one of her japanese friends were reading something on her computer, which was apparently very very funny, and they were laughing and laughing and then i started laughing too, even though i had no idea what they were laughing about, it could have been about me for all i know. but when other people laugh i always start laughing too. its like yawning or something.

i have so much to do for school right now, and then on top of all that i get so stressed out because i feel like my life has no direction and i have no idea what i want to do with myself. before the end of last year, i always knew what i wanted to do. but then that ambition faded and i haven't regained direction since. i could just sit and wait for something to inspire me, but i'm sure i'll become bored with it in a few weeks as i do with all my other ideas. i feel like my abilities are really limiting too. there's a big difference between what ideally i would want to do and what i can do. i don't know. right now i just want to finish this semester.

okay that's about all i can think of to say.