Saturday, Jul. 12, 2003

I forget what eight was for

I hate this feeling. Its the same one that I try at all costs to avoid yet will always come back to me; that maternal instinct imbeded in my DNA. And that conflicted, confused, those john proctor moments -- well, not really a john proctor moment, because there is nothing to decide. nothing for me to decide anyway.

Part of me envies you. Your free spirit, your inability to be held down by anything, your hedonism. You are your own authority and no one can judge you or tell you what to do.

But part of me remembers what happened to me this winter. And wants to tell you, Please, Calm down. Life is fragile. You may think you are invincible, but you are not. And I really don't know what I would do if anything happened to you.

Nothing is ever the same and that's okay, because I know that we're all now just closer aproximations to the person we're supposed to be.