Sunday, Oct. 19, 2003

thrust your head around, its all around you

I used to write in this thing a lot. I used to be inspired, words used to come to me. Now, i have a difficult time finding these words. And when i do force myself to write here, my words are so mundane and boring it further alienates me from this diary.

maybe its because the only things i ever read anymore sound like this: "In IR, post-structuralists have argued that a structural analysis (realism, neo-realism) fails to recognize that the basis of the state system relies upon a set of shared expectations, assumptions and understanding which give certain meanings onto material forces as well as on shared cultural norms relating to fear, threat and enmity. The perceptual basis of analysis is critical to understanding why . . . "

I have this longing for transcendental experiences. I want to see beautiful places, meet beautiful people, read beautiful poetry, experience beautiful revolution. and right now, reading about post-structural analysis of international relations is not getting me there. I can feel my spirituality draining away. I need a transcendental experience, and fast.