Tuesday, Nov. 11, 2003

drain

i cannot sleep. i have been lying in bed for the past hour. i am not any closer to sleep. so much is running through my mind. i have an interview on wednesday. i have never been interviewed for anything significant before. i am not afraid, i'm just nervous. and i really hope that it works out. i have to register on friday. i still don't know what classes i'm taking. i want to go to haiti over spring break. i have to apply to it by 2 weeks from now. i still don't know if i can afford it. why won't that woman call us back. i am royally pissed. i really don't like living with my roommate carmen. and i think the thing i dislike about her most is that there is nothing concrete for me to dislike about her. something about her . . . her soullessness maybe . . . just gets under my skin. i don't like this floor either and don't want to live here next semester. i don't know where else i would go though. its hard to manage everything in my life. and i don't even have as much going on as other people i know. i don't know how they do it. i need more self-discipline. maybe if i didn't waste my entire mornings reading the newspaper, surfing the internet . . . i wish that my bio professor would let us do work independently. i wish this week would end. and next week. i wish i could clear my mind and go to sleep.