Monday, Apr. 12, 2004

anxieties

you know i just realized that in exactly one week i will be two decades old. usually by now i would be counting down the minutes and considering myself already that age. but i don't know -- 20 just seems so old. i can't really comprehend that. well, i can, i guess. most people i know are already 20. its just hard when you become this age and all of a sudden you're as old as -- or even older than -- people like teen pop idols or the lifeguards at your pool or the people on The Real World or you start babysitting for the daughter of the cousin who used to babysit you when you were little . . .

so there are only 3 weeks left in this semester and i don't know about you but that completely frightens me. i don't want to go home. i am comfortable here and even though i complain about the million pages i have to write i don't really want to leave. i guess part of it is because i am going abroad and i'm definitely nervous about that and also not seeing kevin or anyone i know for seven months. i know though that the time will go by so fast. if this semester did then when i am on a different continent it definitely will. and really i am so ready for a change of environment.

ok that was a really crappy entry but you know, stream of consciousness.