2002-08-07

"cheerleaders are dancers gone retarded."

I woke up early this morning so I could go to the doctor and get three shots, hepatitis, tetanus, and a TB test. easy, right? I just got a meningitis shot not too long ago, and it didn't hurt one bit, so I thought I'd be in and out of that office in no time.

Well, I arrived there at 9, waited a bit, and then was invited back to sit on the table and have needles poked into my skin. i thought i would be fine, but after 3 unexpectedly painful shots, I felt a little faint. and as i looked down at the hole in my skin, bleeding and swollen and large from the tuberculosis test, a strong need to vomit the non-existant contents of my empty stomach overcame me. when I reached the waiting room to leave, I no longer had the ability to stand so i sat down in one of the impossibly uncomfortable chairs. that's when I descended into a most horrible state of post-immunization illness.

the room began to spin around me; i thought the old couple sitting accross from me must think that i was crazy because i thought that i must have been moving all around. I saw some sparkly things fly around me, and i thought they were bugs but when i looked closer, they weren't there. my head began to hurt--but not just my sinuses, or temples, as usual; but my whole entire head just burned. i felt like any second i was going to throw up, and then just pass out onto the floor. I can't really explain it, or remember everything, but my body was just overcome with this terrible, awful, ill feeling, I seriously thought that i was going to die of some violent reaction to the shots. I thought i was going to die, and the only thing running through my mind was, "if i die, then i won't be able to go to the weezer party tonight!" no thoughts of my family, or college, or anything like that, just weezer. shows a lot about my unconscious priorities, no?

well, the nurse finally told me to come in and lie down, and i was so weak and disoriented that i could barely make it back into the room. but i finally did, and once i lied down i felt a little better. the nurse then pulled out some black instrument which for a second i thought was a defibrillator, which scared me. i figured out what it was when she strapped it around my arm and it began to tighten as she pumped, not a defibrillator, yet i still worried that it would confirm my fears of impending death.

"your blood pressure is normal. this is a typical reaction, it happens to a lot of people. you just haven't had a lot of shots in a while, have you?"

when i finally felt strong enough to leave, i went to go get some raspberry tea because i stupidly hadn't eaten anything beforehand. my mom had to open it for me though because i was still so weak. i went home and slept for 2 hours, ate some soup, and i still feel like shit. although, my mind is working well enough to write this crappy entry on diaryland.

and the best part is, i get to go back friday for an analysis of my TB test. oh, I can't wait!